There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
