i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
