I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize