That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize