i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
