Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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