She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
