He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize