LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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