areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
