OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
