Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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