Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think my fart just growled at me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
