Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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