I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
