Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
