dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
