Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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