She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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