Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
