dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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