I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize