Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize