you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
