are you still at the devil's house?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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