Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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