Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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