I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Drake has all the answers
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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