I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
