if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
