Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
