Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
