there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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