I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
