Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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