shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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