yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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