I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
