Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
