Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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