mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm eating all of the evidence.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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