How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
