Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
