We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
