we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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