K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
