Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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