The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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