so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
