brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it's great music for shaving your balls
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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