the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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