Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
