where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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