my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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