One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want to make out with him forever
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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