Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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