1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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