Your face is a jimmy john
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
soo... how was my night?
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