The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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