Dual....:-)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
