Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
