you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
