Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
