Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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