So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
