I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
