mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I enjoy the company of your penis
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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