I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
