Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
