I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
