your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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