Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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